This is taken from a favorite associate, Jim McElwee:

“Today I’d like to talk about self confidence and its importance in the social hierarchy.  When you observe your family and friends interacting there is often an individual present who seems unconcerned of whether others are judging him or not and who clearly gets along without worrying about the small things that happen around them in a certain group.  This comes from two sources, one external and one internal.  Let’s explore the internal today.

An interesting exercise is to think to yourself in the quickest way possible to find a word that accurately describes you as a person in a short period of time.  Is the word a neutral observation?  If so, think about that neutral observation and see how you feel about it.  You’d be surprised how polarizing this can be for many people.  Even positive words can often be born out of a sense of desire rather than observation.  Take “confident,” for example.  Did that word pop into your head because you were feeling confident?  Or because you wanted confidence?  Was the word a physical feature you liked?  Or disliked?  Was it connected to something you’d like to accomplish?

Confidence is an incredibly important trait to possess, and the funny thing about it is it really does come from within.  Remember the analogy from last time about the mind as a garden.  Negative experiences that hurt our self confidence are like twisted vines that will try to choke out the good experiences.  And the good experiences can be multiplied by action.  If you’re talking to someone and you’re thinking the whole time subconsciously, “I don’t want to be rejected by this person,” they will pick up on it and wonder why you feel you should be rejected.  Occasionally these thoughts can be so strong that they can even bleed into the conscious.  We live in a society that thrives on apprehension and poor self image.  But if you can change that into strong self confidence, you’ll find that the less you worry about rejection the less you will experience it.  And when you don’t worry about it, even experiencing it won’t harm you as much as it once did.  Think of our entrainment therapy like a machine built by a skilled gardener to help remove this self doubt so you can start living the way you want.  You can always find our confidence boosting entrainment therapy at http://www.store. unexplainable.net/products/ confidence.php.  Check it out and live on your own terms.

Most communication happens on several levels.  On the level that we judge people most signs of self confidence are things that cannot be faked.  Aside from a few easy to see through “tricks” (men are told to take up as much space as possible while sitting, for example) there are no ways to truly pretend to be confident.  Imagine your voice like you’re singing a song.  A confident person will naturally hit the right notes that indicate they know what they’re doing.  If they are faking it, they will inevitably hit a false note and the facade will come crashing down.  The only way to truly achieve it is by feeling it first.

There’s no need for dehumanizing manuals that constantly remind you of things you hate, and that pretend that everyone in the world “gets it” except you.  Those manuals don’t know you and they don’t know anyone around you.  If you met some of the people who write those you would be surprised at how insecure they were too.  You do know what you’re doing.  And there’s no label hanging above your head.  Be who you want as soon as you’re ready to.

And that brings us to the most important change that must take place.  You must make a deeply rooted personal decision to be that confident person.  If you subconsciously feel like you deserve less than everyone around you, then you won’t change.  Make the change one of identity through visualization.  Imagine in your head a realistic version of who you’d really like to be.  Make this person real to you.  Give them hopes, aspirations, small victories, and a situation they can truly be proud of.  Don’t imagine the world around them changing to accommodate them.  Imagine them making changes to get what they want, and having a long term plan of where they want to go.  After visualizing it mentally, understand that you are your visualization.  Everything in them came from you.  And you can do everything they can with practice if you have a sense of self worth.

We’ve covered the internal aspects of confidence, but next time let’s take a look at some of the steps you can take on the outside to express your newly found confident self.  And remember, travel with a destination in mind.  Be confident, set goals, and achieve them.

Have a safe and enlightened journey!”

Jim McElwee
http://www.store. unexplainable.net